Bush and Blair

This is a wonderful video, enjoy.

Venezuela Grows A Pair

I first heard about this on NPR and the print story does it justice, I guess.
I was a fan of Hugo Chavez before, this just cements it.
I really liked what I had heard of the speach but I was a bit distressed when I learned that it would probably cost Venezuela a seat on the UN Security Council. They were campaigning for a seat on the security council and were pretty much a lock, until this speach.


Hugo Chavez tells it like it is

White Stripes Fever

Don't know why I am fixated with the White Stripes, but I am and therefore I'm forcing this upon the fine readers of this blog.
Please enjoy this wonderful commercial for Coca-Cola. Jack White wrote the song.

Smarmy

Why I Still Love The Simpson's After All These Years

I know that the Simpson's seem to have celebrity voices every week, their season opener featured a couple of guys, Michael Imperioli and Joe Pantoliano, from The Sopranos and other stereotypical Italian roles.
But this past week the White Stripes were guests and I'm all about the White Stripes. They did a parody of the White Stripes video for "Hardest Button to Button", great song and great video.

Here I present both for your consideration.

First the original video



Now the Simpson's parody featuring the White Stripes



Hope you enjoy.

Smarmy

On the Habits of Dogs.

Have you ever noticed that the more foul something smells, the more a dog will try to sniff it? You know that sometimes you feel "a little less than fresh" and you're trying to hide it, but along comes somebody's dog...BUSTED! That fucking dog will do anything in its power to shove it's snout in you crotch or as far up your ass crack as it can get it. Oh well, you go home and take a shower and think to yourself, "I'll just have to start carrying Milkbones on a day when I'm a little funky." Having made note of this most doggy of doggy habits...Have you ever noticed that there are some people who smell so bad that even a dog (who's nose is a rotten smell magnet) can't stand to be near them? I've known fellers like that. I used to live with a guy (I think it would be bad to name names, right? Fuck it! P2X wont mind.) who smelled so fucking ripe that no animal on four legs would come near. That's not the fucked up part! This shit-stinking turd actually had women fighting to be his! Well, I'll tell you what. Let's all just take a rotting steak and rub it all over out asses and then roll in piles of dog shit for good measure. Then we'll all be mac-a-licous playas too. As for me, all this talk of bad smelling shitheads is making me want to take a shower. Maybe after I finish this Icehouse.

Don't Tell ME What You'd Think I'd Do!

What the Fuck!?? Why do people tell me what they think I would do? "If you had it all to do again, you'd talk a lot of shit, but you'd never do anything about it...." How the hell do you know? Maybe if I had it all to do again, I would systematically pick out the future weak links in my life and kill them before they ever brought me down in the first place. Huh? If I tell you that there is no copy machine in the fucking store, there is NO copy machine in the goddamn store! Why do you have to ask someone else? That dipshit is just going to give you the same fucking answer I did! I am the end all/be all of my own universe. All others will rot under my marching feet.

Catalog Hilarity!

If you've ever read a catalog like Sharper Image or especially L.L. Bean you'll actually appreciate this a bit more but it's a hoot none the less. Take a break for yourself and enjoy this fine piece from McSweeney's.

REFRESHINGLY HONEST CRATE AND BARREL CATALOG DESCRIPTIONS

Why? Please tell me why.

Maybe it's because I'm running on about two and a half hours of sleep. But I am seriously fed up with fucking noise. Why oh why do people make objects that produce so much goddamn noise. I feel like I'm in this horrid purgatory where there is no silence. There is sound everywhere, every goddamn place I fucking turn there is something to make me cringe. Why couldn't I have been born a couple of hundred years ago or at least before the advent of the car, hell, let's go back before the train and that infernal horn of theirs. Screw that, I would like to go back before the dawn of man. That's the fucking problem, man. Without fucking people it would be so much nicer. People that put things on their mufflers to make them louder. Printers at work that are next to my goddamn desk that make so much motherfucking noise that I cannot even fathom a silent moment.
ARGH!!
What I would give for just a minute of pure unadulterated silence. I would give anything. ANYTHING.

Profanely yours,
Smarmy

Here's a little treat

Cranky

So, last night I saw "Crank", the movie with Jason Statham. I wanted to see " The Illusionist" but I got to the theatre fourty minutes too late. First of all, what's going on with movies about magicians? First there's The Illusionist and coming soon there's "The Prestige". It seems that this happens all to often, when "Armageddon" came out there was also "Deep Impact", both were about the threat of an asteroid hitting earth. With those two asteroid movies came a whole bunch of specials about the dreaded doom from the sky. I'm just sick of all of these basic cable tie-ins.
Anyway, about "Crank", the movie felt like a Tony Scott flick but maybe a little better. I don't know, but it wasn't a forced fast pace like Mr. Scott's films of late. The pace was fast and it was warranted. It was just a good wholesome fun movie, with just a bit of rampant violence and nudity. It seemed like a live action Grand Theft Auto for some of the film.
Oh man I almost completely forgot about Dwight Yoakam. He plays Chevy's (Jason Statham) doctor. Actually I don't know if you could call his character a doctor but he knows about pharmaceuticals. But good 'ol Dwight does a pretty good job, he's sort of the comic relief along with Pedro from "Napoleon Dynamite" who plays a cross dressing club kid.
So, if you're in the mood for a fun movie and the movie you planned on seeing is sold out or at an inconvenient time you should see "Crank".

Here's a link to the trailer on Youtube

Couldn't Think Of Anything To Write

WEEN!

Charlie Brown on steroids?

I wouldn't have believed it either. That is until I saw the court transcripts, I'm actually a little disappointed. But you can't put these people on pedestals, once you do they are bound to fall. It's sad, very very sad.

Velvet Underground

This is one of the funniest and coolest Velvet Underground videos. Be sure to check it out.