Cleveland Is ON FIRE!!

Hello again my good friends. I would like everyone to welcome Mr. Cleveland Steemah to Smarmy Hobo. I know that Forty just passed but we need a third party that pulls no punches. Cleveland was once a world renowned hobo until he pulled a hammy and after that it takes a little too long to jump on a boxcar. He's still a hobo legend. We here at the Smarmy look up to him and believe that he will bring quite a bit to the table.
Enough about Cleveland. Let me tell you people about something that has been bothering me. It's name is Alberto Gonzalez. Did anyone else listen to the Senate grilling he took? I was sitting in a boxcar listening to my little radio and feeling a little sorry for the guy until I realized that he was a colossal douche bag. Yes that's right, I'll be the first to come out and call the colossal douche bag a colossal douche bag. He is a symptom of what's wrong with this administration. Is it just me or does it seem that these assholes don't know how to separate their personal lives and their business lives. It's not that hard. I know that Mr. Douchey McFuckstick is a republican and all but he is also the Attorney General, not too political. He just needs to uphold what is already law. Am I wrong? If so please comment and correct my wrongness. Mr. Bush is a christian. That's great, I'm happy for the guy. But you shouldn't really carry that into your business life. He's representing more than just christians. I mean he's gone on the record stating that he believes that Jesus appointed him. Does he really call the supreme court "Jesus"? The late Mr. Vonnegut made a valid point that you could not compare Bush to Hitler because Hitler was elected. This is just a great example of eight years of bad decisions. I'm sure he's got some horrendously bad decisions to come. Wait until he pardons Scooter Libby. Will we ever get these assholes for the many ways that they have fucked up our economy and our country in general. This administration represents rich corporations and organized religion. Since when is Bob Jones University a mandatory campaign stop? Bob Jones University used to hang hobos in the eighties. That was a dark decade for us. The "greed is good" decade.
Sorry again for my incoherent rambling, it'll end soon.

Have a good night and a pleasant tomorrow,

Smarmy

I Thought They Smelled Bad on the Outside...

Greetings Hobos,

I think that I have a problem with people. Not all people, just people who are complete assholes. What is so hard about being a normal human being? Why do people (or just "peeps" from now on) insist on being shits? Peeps gots to have mad respect for me and my hobeys (yes, hobeys. It's like homeys, just for hobos). I'll fuck up a peep. I'll do some time for my hobeys. You gots to slap a hob (a hoe, just a homeless one) for disrespectin' your hobeys. I told you, hoboy, you can't touch this. I'll tell a hob....Yo! Bitch! Da'fuck ya think you're doin'? That's my hobey, Smarmy! Back da'fuck off him, mu'fuckah!
Holy shit! That's the last time I watch Friday Foster before taking a nap.

Falater,
Cleveland

NY Yankees 6, Boston Red Sox 7

Eat it, Bob Ryan. So the rivalry doesn't mean what it did when you had a shade of color to your hair? I'm so tired of old people saying the game isn't as good as the old days - ever since they raised ticket prices to a quarter. Right here, right now. There is no other place I'd want to be.

A Face Like Fresh Tanned Leather.

I just had a piece of cake. It wasn't too good, but it was free. Hell, it even said "eat me" on it. Now I think I shall set it sailing. If anybody has a line on where a fella can find some softer company, let me know. Right now I think I'll find a place to bed down.

Take 'er easy,
Cleveland

Bad Impersonation Of Me?!

The Prank War Goes On! on Vimeo

Watch the video, and they do a series of impersonations and one of which is Smarmy Hobo.
What do you think? Is that a good Smarmy Hobo impersonation? Leave comments.

Smarmy

So I normally check out the blogs of both of these gentlemen, as should you. The links to their sites are to your right. Enjoy!

A Voice From The Past

Call it synchronicity, call it deja vu - the new Marillion album came out this week, and hearing it in the wake of Kurt Vonnegut there's a song that puts it all into perspective...

A voice from the past
Entered my head today
Fresh and alive
Full of life, passion and pain
A voice now past
A beautiful soul, gone

Speaking clearly - clearer than the living
Talking perfect sense
Used to not being understood
While talking perfect sense to the next generation

Have we caught up yet?
Is it time?
I think it is
Enough is enough

A voice from the past
Entered my head today
Tiny child sighed in my ear
Giving up breathing in
Over and out
Over and out
Taken by bad luck and the ill fortune of geography

Common cold, dirty water, HIV
Common apathy, common crime
Perfect nonsense to the next generation

Dead yet alive
Gone but shouting anger
Gone but talking perfect sense

Have we caught up yet?
Is it time? Well I say it is
Deaf and dumbed-down
Enough is enough

Give me a smile. Hold out your hand
I don't want your money
I don't want your land
Give me a smile. Hold out your hand
I don't want your money
I don't want your land
I want you to wake up and do something strange
I want you to listen
I want you to feel someone else's pain

Deaf and dumbed-down

A tap with clean water

-- Steve Hogarth, 2007

God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater

Kurt Vonnegut died yesterday of complications resulting from a fall in his home. The man known to me as Dirty Bunnyguts shaped not only my writing but also my way of viewing the world - the concept of getting unstuck in time was first introduced to me in his novel Slaughterhouse Five. This is at its essence an ability to pull back and view things with a sense of perspective - a deadly, lifesaving and invaluable ability for a teenager to acquire. Because of Dirty Bunnyguts, I and many like me are better people, and I'm sure Kurt is up in heaven now. That's a little joke, Kurt - I'm glad you got to have a little glass of champagne at the end of life. So it goes.