Om-alaguenia

Wasn't that the name of the fictional holiday from Biloxi Blues? You know, the one for Mexican Jews? I think that was it. Either way, the exodus is now complete (I prefer to spell it "c-o-m-p-l-e-a-t" like the British do, but the damned spell check wont let me.) and after about 30 hours of being awake, I'm ready to die. I have made my peace and all I want to do is nothing. I just want to be still and quiet.
I'd like to be able to post something more interesting, but I'm crapped out. I've had enough, I'm moving out... To the city, the big, big city. I'll be a big noise with all the big boys. So much stuff I will own! I'll pray to a big god as I kneel in a big church. BIG TIME! I'm on my way out making it big time!

Thank you Mr. Gabriel, you funky funky British monkey!

40oz.

A Little Fine Theatre.

Today I'd like to act out a scene from the James Melkonian classic, The Stoned Age. This particular scene is in the last act. The dialog is between our hero Joe, and our little misunderstood toady, Tack. Both parts will be played by 40oz.

Joe and Tack are fighting, rolling around a Torrence Beach front yard. Joe uses a double-fist punch to pound Tacks nards before pinning him to the ground...

Joe - "Hey, Tack, man... What the fuck happened to you, man? You used to be cool!"
Tack - "Fine chicks wont even talk to me... They all think I'm gross. Ya think any chick is gonna wanna talk to a crater-face?!
Joe - "Well, maybe you could meet a chick with an acne problem too. You know? Maybe then you'd have something in common."
Tack - "FUCK THAT SHIT!! I want FINE chicks!"

Joe pounds Tacks nards again before dashing to safety inside the house. Before he can make it inside, an Ox 45 tallboy strikes him on the back of the head, propelling him forward. As he hits the floor, the door slams shut. He is safe.... For now!

Stay tuned for the next installment of James Melkonians, The Stoned Age!

40oz.

You Think That You've Defeated Me?!

I'm out of the picture for a while and Smarmy gets delusions of greatness. Well, here on the ol' Country Ham Express, we just got temporarily derailed in a dry county for the month of January. So, clink-clink, have a drink. I have so much to think about... Don't snore, have some more, I need the time to type it out!
I have to wonder about things sometimes. Are people really as stupid as I think they are? I believe the answer is "yes." "Sir, I want those cigars." says the dull man as he points like an idiot. "Which ones?" responds the 40oz. "Those right there!" he says again as his stubby little finger juts forward at a wall of over 30 different cigars. "You'll have to be more specific, sir, there's a lot of cigars here." says 40. The dipshit asshole does the Napoleon Dynamite sigh, "Ghhhod!" "Those right there! The ones right there... What's your problem!" 40oz. is stunned. The man shouts, "Those on the second shelf, third from the right!" 40oz. is relieved and he reaches for those very specifically pointed out cigars. As his hand touches them, the dumbass sighs again, "No, ghhhod! Can't you count?! I said third from the right!" 40oz. is truly confused now. Had the meaning of the word "right" changed since he had last used it? Was his brain beginning to rot dealing with the stupid people? On a hunch, he moved his hand to the third cigar from the left just to see if that would work. The dumb fucks eyes light up, "Yes, those cigars. Jeez, why do they hire such stupid people here?" 40oz. replies with a simple, "I dunno." I know, I know you want to rip their stupid dumbass faces off, but a paycheck is a very important thing. I think it was Thom Yorke that said "When I am king you will be first against the wall." Wouldn't it be nice?

The Peace and the Grease,
40oz.

Clapton IS GOD!!

Here you go, just enjoy and appreciate.