The Long Dark Crawl Into Light

I am now beginning to look forward to football. It's been a long journey since that cold February day, the day when the unthinkable became reality, the day the Patriots became dead to me. For months when I'd drink me voddie out of a Patriots shot glass, I'd comment on how unusual it is to find a glass with no emblem at all. When I'd curl up at night with my little bankie I'd see it as white and unblemished. And hoodie... Dear hoodie was banished to the closet.

I understand we're the bad guys now. I remember from my Celtics experiences in the 80's how success breeds contempt. I know the feel-good story could never last - the upstart young team overcomes double-digit odds to beat the Greatest Show on Turf. How a nation still reeling from the attacks of September 11 rallied around a bunch of no-names introduced as a team, a team called the Patriots, no less. But that story's only good once - do it again and you're the evil empire, just like the Skankees. The victims become the aggressors in Baghdad and Jacksonville and Madden asks "Can you think of a team name more patriotic than the Eagles?" Well, yes, John, I can. Except now we're called the Cheatriots with coach Belicheat.

The other day I was talking football with a little kid while he ate some chocolate cake. He said the Patriots coach is a cheater. I wanted to say to him, can't you understand that's such a narrow definition of a man well into his fifties? Here you are eating chocolate cake, can you imagine every time someone mentions your name I say "Oh he eats chocolate cake. He's nothing but a dirty chocolate cake eater." Years from now you come into work on a Monday morning and say you had a good weekend and I say "What, did you eat some chocolate cake?" Can't you see how ludicrous that is? But he's only six, and not yet ready for such understanding, so I just told him "Don't believe half of what you see and none of what you hear." Everyone needs some Lou Reed, the earlier the better.

So now training camp has begun. Draft picks have been signed. And today I saw the first commercial for the new Madden. Yep, I hear they're starting up a new sport this fall, gonna call it "football." I think I'll root for the Patriots.