A Little Fine Dining

Well everyone, I'll bet you didn't know that I was a great cook, did you? I am. Believe me. It turns out that I have a famous great-aunt. You may all know her as Julia Childs, but back at the ol' Ounces family shack we call her great-auntie Julia. That's right, she was born an Ounces. She married that Childs guy for his money. It was all she could do to keep herself in booze. After all, she is family.
This is a favorite recipe that she and I created when I was just a kid. It's called "The Hobo Special."

You'll need: One can Vienna Sausage, one package of saltine crackers (not the big box, just a small one, or one quarter of a big box) and a single Chicken flavor Cup o' noodles.
Start by putting some water on the boil. Damn boiling! Takes so long! That's why you have the Vienna Sausage. Open the can and drain that nasty smelling juice somewhere far away from you. Open the pack of crackers. Take a bite of a cracker and then a bite of Vienna Sausage. Chew. It sounds disgusting, but it actually quite a good combination. Repeat as desired until water boils.
Prepare the Cup o' noodles as per the directions on the package. While waiting for them to be done, continue with the Vienna Sausage and Cracker thing. When the noodles are done, take a FORK (not a spoon) and eat all of the noodles out of the chickeny flavored hot broth. When you have finished all of the noodles, take all of your remaining crackers and smash them up into the broth. I know it seems like they all wont fit, but they will, just keep smashing them down. If you've saved enough crackers for this step, you will have a soggy paste. Take a spoon and enjoy this warm, salty, chickeny sludge. I know it sounds disgusting, but it's actually fantastic. It's like great-aunt Julia always used to say, "I'll bet you thought pussy was gross before you ate it, didn't you?"

That's good eatin'!

40oz.