Hello sandwich lovers of the world, and specifically New York City. Very interesting site... Looking at the close-up pictures of people eating is making my stomach churn - I'll assume it's because of hunger. By the way, the Yankees suck.
Speaking of those doddering decrepit deficients from the Bronx, here's a short film dug up by the Dirt Dogs depicting Roger Clemens in the year 2057. Now that's delicious...
Monday, June 25, 2007
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Smarmy is as Smarmy does
Welcome home, first of all let me direct your attention to the sidebar under the links tab. There's a new link to a website called Delicious Sandwich. It's a sandwich review blog for deli's and such in NYC. Pretty interesting.
Once again it's been a while since my last posting. It's getting to the point that I post once a quarter. So as my quarterly post this will be a big 'ol spectacle. Much like what you, my adoring public, are accustomed to.
Lately I have tried becoming an optimist. For most of my life I have been the staunch pessimist, I have bragged about it, flaunted it in the faces of the optimistic. Now I have decided that life is too damned short and that I need to do something that would help me be happy. Mind you, for most of my pessimistic years I was depressed. As of late, what with my optimistic point of view the depression has left. It's a good feeling, really good feeling. Part of the paradigm shift is the idea that people are naturally good. I try to believe this so that I can sleep at night. Then I actually interact with people and they shake my new belief system. I try not to hate and yet people I meet dare me to hate them. Case in point...Smarmy has taken a job. The job is that of a waiter at a little italian place. The owners of the place, we'll call "Sid's", are evil. Now I go into this situation thinking that all people are, at their core, good. Then I work with this woman who would turn Medusa to stone. Now here I am with an idea that is shattered before it could ever really take hold. I don't know what to believe. Oh yeah and politicians also make me really feel sorry for humanity as a whole. As long as there are politicians, and that means everyone who ever really wanted to hold political office, we are fucked. I cannot vote for someone who actually wants to be part of that system. Remember that this is an uneducated opinion. Just one hobo spewing forth my vile ideas.
To sum up this post, we're all fucked...that's really it.
Hope we all live to old age,
Smarmy
Once again it's been a while since my last posting. It's getting to the point that I post once a quarter. So as my quarterly post this will be a big 'ol spectacle. Much like what you, my adoring public, are accustomed to.
Lately I have tried becoming an optimist. For most of my life I have been the staunch pessimist, I have bragged about it, flaunted it in the faces of the optimistic. Now I have decided that life is too damned short and that I need to do something that would help me be happy. Mind you, for most of my pessimistic years I was depressed. As of late, what with my optimistic point of view the depression has left. It's a good feeling, really good feeling. Part of the paradigm shift is the idea that people are naturally good. I try to believe this so that I can sleep at night. Then I actually interact with people and they shake my new belief system. I try not to hate and yet people I meet dare me to hate them. Case in point...Smarmy has taken a job. The job is that of a waiter at a little italian place. The owners of the place, we'll call "Sid's", are evil. Now I go into this situation thinking that all people are, at their core, good. Then I work with this woman who would turn Medusa to stone. Now here I am with an idea that is shattered before it could ever really take hold. I don't know what to believe. Oh yeah and politicians also make me really feel sorry for humanity as a whole. As long as there are politicians, and that means everyone who ever really wanted to hold political office, we are fucked. I cannot vote for someone who actually wants to be part of that system. Remember that this is an uneducated opinion. Just one hobo spewing forth my vile ideas.
To sum up this post, we're all fucked...that's really it.
Hope we all live to old age,
Smarmy
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Sosa hits #600, now 66 behind Satan
Sammy Sosa hit his 600th career home run last night, and as he rounded the bases, the stadium PA began playing the theme from "The Natural." There's nothing natural about Sosa's 600 home runs. He used steroids and a corked bat - shouldn't he be at 800 by now?
Jason Giambi faces a deadline today to agree to meet with George Mitchell's steroid investigation. Bud Selig says he wants players to come forward and provide information, but the one active player who's said anything about the issue, Giambi, now faces possible suspension. And in other news, the former Mets clubhouse attendant's offer to plea-bargain was rejected. The only way Selig will get the information he seeks is to offer amnesty - there's no way to go back and correct the record books, all we can do now is move forward more informed.
And speaking of the record books, some would argue the steroids era makes it impossible to compare records from previous years. Yet Babe Ruth never faced a black pitcher, so how legitimate are his records? To get an idea how comparable baseball records are from different eras, take a look at the National League record for wins in a single season - 59. By "Old Hoss" Radbourn in 1884. Baseball records have never been comparable spanning eras - you can only look at what someone did in relation to his peers. I don't see anyone else sitting on 748...
Jason Giambi faces a deadline today to agree to meet with George Mitchell's steroid investigation. Bud Selig says he wants players to come forward and provide information, but the one active player who's said anything about the issue, Giambi, now faces possible suspension. And in other news, the former Mets clubhouse attendant's offer to plea-bargain was rejected. The only way Selig will get the information he seeks is to offer amnesty - there's no way to go back and correct the record books, all we can do now is move forward more informed.
And speaking of the record books, some would argue the steroids era makes it impossible to compare records from previous years. Yet Babe Ruth never faced a black pitcher, so how legitimate are his records? To get an idea how comparable baseball records are from different eras, take a look at the National League record for wins in a single season - 59. By "Old Hoss" Radbourn in 1884. Baseball records have never been comparable spanning eras - you can only look at what someone did in relation to his peers. I don't see anyone else sitting on 748...
Thursday, May 31, 2007
A-Rod's an A-Hole
Thank goodness he's not on my team. While my beloved Red Sox enjoy the largest lead they've had over the Evil Empire since 1978, all the talk in the New York tabloids is Alex Rodriguez, and none of it is about winning. While his personal life should remain just that - his excapades with the buxom blonde slumpbuster should stay between him, Mrs. A-Rod and their two-year old child - now we get another example of his bush-league mentality. Last night in Toronto, in the ninth inning, two outs, with his team up two runs, he's rounding third as the thirdbaseman Howie Clark circles under a fly ball on the infield. As Slappy McCantcatch passes behind Clark, he yells out "Mine," causing Clark to back away to avoid a collision with his shortstop he believes is calling for the ball. It drops, and eventually three runs score. Toronto manager John Gibbons pleads interference to the umpires as A-Hole stands on third with his best George Bush smirk. After the game Rodriguez says he yelled "Hah" - I'm not the best lip-reader, but it sure looks like an m to me.
This represents a pattern of behaviour, from his elbow to the groin of Dustin Pedroia last week all the way back to slapping the ball out of Bronson Arroyo's glove in 2004. I know he's not thinking when he does these things, he's going on instinct - I also know a good person's instinct is not to cheat. Now, I can't find my copy of the unwritten rule book, but I'm pretty sure this kind of crap is in there. Red Sox GM Theo Epstein, while avoiding direct comment, did say there are "certain things that you just don’t do to the opposition on the baseball field.” If it is indeed no big deal, that it happens "three or four times a week" as Rodgriguez claims, why are none of his Yanker teammates speaking up for him? Why wouldn't one of them say "Hey, this kind of stuff happens all the time, leave him alone?" Derek Jeter, one of the classiest men in baseball, said "Why don't you ask him about it?" Not exactly a ringing endorsement for his former sleepover buddy, the man who will someday break Hank Aaron's record, maybe even before Barry Bonds does.
Yep the Yankees are all the talk in the baseball world this summer. And not a bit of it is about winning. Good times.
This represents a pattern of behaviour, from his elbow to the groin of Dustin Pedroia last week all the way back to slapping the ball out of Bronson Arroyo's glove in 2004. I know he's not thinking when he does these things, he's going on instinct - I also know a good person's instinct is not to cheat. Now, I can't find my copy of the unwritten rule book, but I'm pretty sure this kind of crap is in there. Red Sox GM Theo Epstein, while avoiding direct comment, did say there are "certain things that you just don’t do to the opposition on the baseball field.” If it is indeed no big deal, that it happens "three or four times a week" as Rodgriguez claims, why are none of his Yanker teammates speaking up for him? Why wouldn't one of them say "Hey, this kind of stuff happens all the time, leave him alone?" Derek Jeter, one of the classiest men in baseball, said "Why don't you ask him about it?" Not exactly a ringing endorsement for his former sleepover buddy, the man who will someday break Hank Aaron's record, maybe even before Barry Bonds does.
Yep the Yankees are all the talk in the baseball world this summer. And not a bit of it is about winning. Good times.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
New Funny!!
I was just talking to Duh Chief today and he blurted out one of the funniest phrases I have heard in quite a while. "Sucks me off.." As in "Well that sucks me off!". It's a mixture of sucks and pissed off. It's grand. I've used it several times already. The train is moving too fast for me to jump on one of it's boxcars, well that sucks me off. You can use it for anything and everything. Don't be shy, use it with your friends and neighbors. When your dad calls and asks how your car is running, you say "It sucks me off!" angrily. What it is is the context. You people are smart enough to know how to use it and adapt it to any situation that suits you.
Have a grand day,
Smarmy
Have a grand day,
Smarmy
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Cleveland Is ON FIRE!!
Hello again my good friends. I would like everyone to welcome Mr. Cleveland Steemah to Smarmy Hobo. I know that Forty just passed but we need a third party that pulls no punches. Cleveland was once a world renowned hobo until he pulled a hammy and after that it takes a little too long to jump on a boxcar. He's still a hobo legend. We here at the Smarmy look up to him and believe that he will bring quite a bit to the table.
Enough about Cleveland. Let me tell you people about something that has been bothering me. It's name is Alberto Gonzalez. Did anyone else listen to the Senate grilling he took? I was sitting in a boxcar listening to my little radio and feeling a little sorry for the guy until I realized that he was a colossal douche bag. Yes that's right, I'll be the first to come out and call the colossal douche bag a colossal douche bag. He is a symptom of what's wrong with this administration. Is it just me or does it seem that these assholes don't know how to separate their personal lives and their business lives. It's not that hard. I know that Mr. Douchey McFuckstick is a republican and all but he is also the Attorney General, not too political. He just needs to uphold what is already law. Am I wrong? If so please comment and correct my wrongness. Mr. Bush is a christian. That's great, I'm happy for the guy. But you shouldn't really carry that into your business life. He's representing more than just christians. I mean he's gone on the record stating that he believes that Jesus appointed him. Does he really call the supreme court "Jesus"? The late Mr. Vonnegut made a valid point that you could not compare Bush to Hitler because Hitler was elected. This is just a great example of eight years of bad decisions. I'm sure he's got some horrendously bad decisions to come. Wait until he pardons Scooter Libby. Will we ever get these assholes for the many ways that they have fucked up our economy and our country in general. This administration represents rich corporations and organized religion. Since when is Bob Jones University a mandatory campaign stop? Bob Jones University used to hang hobos in the eighties. That was a dark decade for us. The "greed is good" decade.
Sorry again for my incoherent rambling, it'll end soon.
Have a good night and a pleasant tomorrow,
Smarmy
Enough about Cleveland. Let me tell you people about something that has been bothering me. It's name is Alberto Gonzalez. Did anyone else listen to the Senate grilling he took? I was sitting in a boxcar listening to my little radio and feeling a little sorry for the guy until I realized that he was a colossal douche bag. Yes that's right, I'll be the first to come out and call the colossal douche bag a colossal douche bag. He is a symptom of what's wrong with this administration. Is it just me or does it seem that these assholes don't know how to separate their personal lives and their business lives. It's not that hard. I know that Mr. Douchey McFuckstick is a republican and all but he is also the Attorney General, not too political. He just needs to uphold what is already law. Am I wrong? If so please comment and correct my wrongness. Mr. Bush is a christian. That's great, I'm happy for the guy. But you shouldn't really carry that into your business life. He's representing more than just christians. I mean he's gone on the record stating that he believes that Jesus appointed him. Does he really call the supreme court "Jesus"? The late Mr. Vonnegut made a valid point that you could not compare Bush to Hitler because Hitler was elected. This is just a great example of eight years of bad decisions. I'm sure he's got some horrendously bad decisions to come. Wait until he pardons Scooter Libby. Will we ever get these assholes for the many ways that they have fucked up our economy and our country in general. This administration represents rich corporations and organized religion. Since when is Bob Jones University a mandatory campaign stop? Bob Jones University used to hang hobos in the eighties. That was a dark decade for us. The "greed is good" decade.
Sorry again for my incoherent rambling, it'll end soon.
Have a good night and a pleasant tomorrow,
Smarmy
Saturday, April 21, 2007
I Thought They Smelled Bad on the Outside...
Greetings Hobos,
I think that I have a problem with people. Not all people, just people who are complete assholes. What is so hard about being a normal human being? Why do people (or just "peeps" from now on) insist on being shits? Peeps gots to have mad respect for me and my hobeys (yes, hobeys. It's like homeys, just for hobos). I'll fuck up a peep. I'll do some time for my hobeys. You gots to slap a hob (a hoe, just a homeless one) for disrespectin' your hobeys. I told you, hoboy, you can't touch this. I'll tell a hob....Yo! Bitch! Da'fuck ya think you're doin'? That's my hobey, Smarmy! Back da'fuck off him, mu'fuckah!
Holy shit! That's the last time I watch Friday Foster before taking a nap.
Falater,
Cleveland
I think that I have a problem with people. Not all people, just people who are complete assholes. What is so hard about being a normal human being? Why do people (or just "peeps" from now on) insist on being shits? Peeps gots to have mad respect for me and my hobeys (yes, hobeys. It's like homeys, just for hobos). I'll fuck up a peep. I'll do some time for my hobeys. You gots to slap a hob (a hoe, just a homeless one) for disrespectin' your hobeys. I told you, hoboy, you can't touch this. I'll tell a hob....Yo! Bitch! Da'fuck ya think you're doin'? That's my hobey, Smarmy! Back da'fuck off him, mu'fuckah!
Holy shit! That's the last time I watch Friday Foster before taking a nap.
Falater,
Cleveland
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