Spying Squirrels

I make no judgement on the issue, I merely pass it along. Fourteen squirrels were detained along Iran's border and charged with espionage. The state-sponsored news agency IRNA reported the squirrels were equipped with GPS, cameras and listening devices. I'm not here to speculate, but if they had cameras perhaps they were being prepared for Junior's colonoscopy?

Cleveland Is ON FIRE!!

Hello again my good friends. I would like everyone to welcome Mr. Cleveland Steemah to Smarmy Hobo. I know that Forty just passed but we need a third party that pulls no punches. Cleveland was once a world renowned hobo until he pulled a hammy and after that it takes a little too long to jump on a boxcar. He's still a hobo legend. We here at the Smarmy look up to him and believe that he will bring quite a bit to the table.
Enough about Cleveland. Let me tell you people about something that has been bothering me. It's name is Alberto Gonzalez. Did anyone else listen to the Senate grilling he took? I was sitting in a boxcar listening to my little radio and feeling a little sorry for the guy until I realized that he was a colossal douche bag. Yes that's right, I'll be the first to come out and call the colossal douche bag a colossal douche bag. He is a symptom of what's wrong with this administration. Is it just me or does it seem that these assholes don't know how to separate their personal lives and their business lives. It's not that hard. I know that Mr. Douchey McFuckstick is a republican and all but he is also the Attorney General, not too political. He just needs to uphold what is already law. Am I wrong? If so please comment and correct my wrongness. Mr. Bush is a christian. That's great, I'm happy for the guy. But you shouldn't really carry that into your business life. He's representing more than just christians. I mean he's gone on the record stating that he believes that Jesus appointed him. Does he really call the supreme court "Jesus"? The late Mr. Vonnegut made a valid point that you could not compare Bush to Hitler because Hitler was elected. This is just a great example of eight years of bad decisions. I'm sure he's got some horrendously bad decisions to come. Wait until he pardons Scooter Libby. Will we ever get these assholes for the many ways that they have fucked up our economy and our country in general. This administration represents rich corporations and organized religion. Since when is Bob Jones University a mandatory campaign stop? Bob Jones University used to hang hobos in the eighties. That was a dark decade for us. The "greed is good" decade.
Sorry again for my incoherent rambling, it'll end soon.

Have a good night and a pleasant tomorrow,

Smarmy

Operation Bite Me

I get the impression President Junior is tapping his feet and looking at his watch, waiting on the Rapture. Russian journalist Andrei Uglanov has reported America is planning an attack on Iran for the first week of April, specifically 4AM April 6, Good Friday, the Muslim Sabbath. The attack, code-named Operation Bite, is scheduled to last 12 hours and will consist of cruise missles launched from various staging areas around the Persian Gulf as well as the Indian Ocean. The targets include uranium enrichment facilities, air defense stations and Iranian warships in the Gulf.

Why are we not hearing about any of this from our own news agencies? Is Russia now the place to turn for objective, investigative journalism? The new land of propaganda is the home of Jessica Lynch and Pat Tillman. Tell two friends, and tell them to tell two friends...

So help them God

The Senate today authorized subpoenas for Karl Rove to testify about the firing of eight United States attorneys who weren't "good Bushies." There has been some debate on whether or not those deposed will be under oath. They have to be under oath. We all know they're going to lie - there must be some consequence. George Bush wasn't under oath during his State of the Union address when he went before Congress and claimed Iraq was seeking uranium yellow cake from Niger. The only members of this administration we've ever gotten under oath couldn't stop the lies, and now Scooter Libby and Alberto Gonzales are facing the truth.

The Scooter Libby verdict was essentially everyone standing around looking at the footprints of an 800lb gorillia, saying, Yep, those are footprints, all right. No, Iraq did not have WMDs. When Joe Wilson presented evidence of this to the American people, Dick Cheney committed treason, a capital offense, by declaring Wilson's wife "fair game," and outing her status as an undercover CIA agent. When George Bush was asked for proof, he said he would not wait for a "smoking gun that could come in the form of a mushroom cloud."

So now many thousands of people have died - more Americans than died on 9/11, and literally countless Iraqis, while the people who attacked us were Saudi, and bin Laden still roams free. It is an unnecessary war of aggression, built on lies. Now the liars are being called to account - only under oath can justice be done.

Living With the Big Lie

...the clash of religion and the loaded prayers
information the face of starvation and the state of the nation...

Yep just wanted to start this entry with a little Marillion - that would be from the album Brave, you should all buy it. But that's not what I came here to talk to you about... President Junior will be giving his State of the Union address tonight, undoubtedly trying to bolster his case for escalation in Iraq. Of course, he is still the executive branch, and the legislative branch can't directly steer policy. With the nation in this state, the only course of action available is to cut funding, but anyone who supports this will, of course, be accused of not supporting our troops.

So let's take a moment to step back from Karl Rove and reflect on what it means to "support our troops." One, and this is a big one, you only send them into harm's way when it is absolutely necessary. Yep, that's a basic right there. Two, when you do send them, you don't play politics and compromise numbers like Lyndon Johnson, you send enough to do the job. And three, you send them with the armor and ammunition necessary to bring as many back home as possible.

Well, we're there now, no going back on that. The current escalation of 21,000 is a political number - the public wants out, John McCain wants to send 50,000, we'll split the difference. Unfortunately, if congress votes to cut funding, these troops won't stay home, they'll just have to go without armor.

I really have a sickening sort of admiration for how well Rove does his job. I've known John Kerry over twenty years, he became my senator in 1983, and in the few months of a campaign Rove created the image of a flip-flopper. John Kerry is a good man, a veteran and a man of principle. He's never been very good at sound bites - he deals in the nuances of the real world rather than the black and white of the evildoers. It's an intelligent person who can adapt to a changing situation - when we find we've been living with the big lie, stupidity stays the course. Will Rove be turned loose on the 2008 Democrat nominee? What could he do if he were turned loose on me? I have no idea what I did with my merit badges from Boy Scouts. Maybe I threw them over the fence onto the White House lawn. To protest Lionel Richie leaving the Commodores.

Two Heartbeats Away...

Here's to Nancy Pelosi, the new Speaker of the House, and to better days ahead.

Well, a couple of weeks ago I was talking to my good friend, the Smarmy Hobo himself, about the state of democracy in our Homeland. I think the 2000 election wasn't stolen so much as handed to Junior. 2004, on the other hand, was a travesty truly worthy of boycotting Diebold. So what now, my dear Hobo? He theorized the puppet masters might throw us a bone, let the Demmies win one little one before Jeb is repaid in 2008.

No! I say, No No! Surely America has spoken! Surely the future indictees have been given a thumping! Now all the Demmies have to do in the next two years is get us out of Iraq, curtail the spiralling deficit, raise the minimum wage, slow global warming and repair our reputation with our allies. Then they can win in 2008. Assuming the terrorists don't choose to strike again - then all bets are off.

But I do have some good news... The Iraq Study Group is out there somewhere - hopefully they're studying and not staying up all night listening to their crazy rock n roll and doing each others' hair. I hear they're going to give us a way we can win the war - a silver bullet. Or is it a magic bullet? I don't know - whatever killed JFK, that's what we need...

Vote and/or Die!?

I don't know about you but my will to vote has been stifled. I've lost faith in our democratic system. I don't want to rehash the 2000 presidential election but that was a big part of it. I just don't like our representative democracy. I don't know what would be better but this just sucks. I had to be guilted into voting this year. It worked and I will be getting the all important "I Voted" sticker this evening. Here in North Carolina, the Carolina just north of South Carolina, there are no national elections going on. We're just dealing with local elections, I also know that this really is important still because it's local and therefore it more directly affects me. Sorry for my grammar today but I am a bit under the weather and also mildly retarded for the past week or two. Back to the incoherent rant. Don't get me wrong, I love this country, love it with all of my heart. I love the people that make up this wonderful country of ours. It's just that I think that we as a people have very little say in Washington. Our democracy is not too representative, take Iraq for example. If it was up to the people I don't believe that we would be involved. Look at health care, what they're trying to do to social security, etc. Our government seems to be run by corporations. I know that I am the first person to open that can of worms but you know what I'm that guy. I'm willing to put myself in the position of opposition to this...whatever you call it.
Voting Republican or Democrat, to me it's still a vote for the same people. Anyone trying to get elected should be automatically disqualified. A friend of mine had a great idea, that instead of elections we should have a lottery and just pick our representatives, from President on down.

I'm going to be the one to say it but vote or don't. It's up to you, if you don't feel it, don't do it.

Have a good day and vote if you feel like it. Hey, here's an idea and what really got me to vote. It's my friend Matt's birthday and to celebrate it I'm going to vote. If you know Matt, do it for him and if you don't know him, well, then do it for your own Matt. Everyone knows someone named Matt. If you don't then I'm sorry, Matt's are pretty good people. Not all of them of course but a majority of the Matt's I know are good.

Have a happy pseudo-democracy day. Vote like it matters.

Smarmy

Where Oh Where Has Smarmy Hobo Been

First of all I need to apologize to my loyal readers out in internetland, I have been away doing amazing and astonishing things. You wouldn't believe me if I told you. A little hint...riding rails and "dealing with" nosy engineers. I've truly missed you all, your admiration and adoration that is bestowed upon me daily. I feel sad when I'm not writing here for you...and only you.
Before writing to you this wonderfully brisk autumn eve, I was watching a film that I would not recommend. It was entitled "Tight Teen Pussy", it was about these young women who enjoyed having sexual relations with seemingly random men. The dialogue was light, which is strange for a film that boasts it's length of four hours. The lighting was horrid, I cannot even describe the lengths they went to save money on a good cinematographer. This is what happens when you don't employ union workers. The acting seemed forced, in good erotica the acting is one of the things that doesn't go by the wayside. For example rent Eros, Steven Soderberg directs one segment starring Robert Downey Jr., very well done and funny to boot. I don't want to go on and on about the disappointment that this movie was. I would go return it from the shop whence it came but I borrowed it from an acquaintance and will merely return it to him at a later date.
Moving on from bad cinema, I was checking out the internet and stumbled on a pretty damn good site called McSweeney's, great stuff, you'll see a link for it on the right hand side of this page. On that site I found a really funny and tragic letter written to a Dr. Jones, to his friends he is "Indy". Apparently he was recently fired from Marshall college and this is the letter they sent him.

Temple of Doom my ass

Subversive Attitudes Towards The President

Read this but not attempt this at home:

How to trip the president.

Bush and Blair

It's Grreat!