You're not gonna believe this one...

Yep yep it's been a long long long time since we've posted. My beloved Red Sox won the World Series, the Patriots and Celtics are both undefeated (is this reality?), even the Bruins are playing strong. BC was number two, the goddamn New England Revolution are in the playoffs. Not only can it not get better, you have no right to even dream of this if you're a Boston sports fan.

And yet after a couple shots of voddie, the one man I really want to salute is Joe Torre. Yep, the Yankees manager, the dark lord of the sith and a real stand-up guy. Any real Sox fan respects Joe Torre and Derek Jeter, and rejoices at the resigning of A-Hole cos it means ten more years of no Yankee championships. We finally got the AL East title - the first time since Kevin Kennedy and the days of Valentin, Vaughn and Canseco. Jedi mind trick to George Mitchell: These are not the players you're looking for.

But they gave us a scare down the stretch - they overcame a seriously un-Yankee start to win the Wild Card, and you've got to salute the manager for that. A man who made the postseason in each of his twelve years as manager. Everyone whose favorite team is confined by three dimensions think about that for a moment: ten AL East titles, six pennants, and four World Championships. The Sox can only hope for that success in the coming years, and yet Furious George casts aside the anchor. Thankfully it appears they're too afraid to make the complete break, resigning 30-somethings instead of developing farm talent. Joba the Hutt is the antipapelbon and I can become a Dodger fan - Vin Scully makes it so easy. What it all means is vote for Torre as Manager of the Year, early and often. He's the only Yankee I've ever given money to.

Don't Panic!

I've said all year I'm gonna wait to worry till the Red Sox' lead in the AL East was five games.

eep...

Well the bottom line is we need the offense to kick in, and in general lately that's been happening. If you're going to be deficient somewhere, I'd rather it be hitting than pitching. After all, how many games can you win 10-6, 8-5, 16-8?

Enough, apparently, judging from the Yankees' last month. We all know the Yankers beat up on weak teams, but the problem lately (this millenium) has been their struggles against teams with winning records. So looking at this past month as they've trimmed the deficit from 12 games to 5, how many times did they play a .500 team? Hmm - not once. In the first 25 games after the All-Star break, not a one was against a winning team. That trend stops Friday, with series against Cleveland and Anaheim, and two series with Detroit before facing Boston at the end of the month. I posit this particular stretch will be more telling of their true toughness. My beloved Sox, on the other hand, have fully a quarter of their remaining games (12 of 49) with Tampa Bay, the worst team in baseball.

Our tendency to panic comes from something decades old and deep inside. Most of it was washed away in the blood of Curt Schilling, but it's all really only ever remission. Buck up, lil campers. The magic number is 45. This is not your father's Red Sox - it's your Papi's.

Yankee Hole

Oh my good... Oh my goodness gracious I can't believe it. Of all the most dramatic things... Roger Clemens was booed off the mound at Yankee Stadium. Roger Clemens gave up eight runs in an inning and two-thirds... Jorge Posada looks shocked, Andy Pettitte thought it might happen... And there you go, I guess now it's time to start wondering who'll take that fifth spot in the rotation... Oh the humanity...

Mmmmm - Delicious Sandwiches

Hello sandwich lovers of the world, and specifically New York City. Very interesting site... Looking at the close-up pictures of people eating is making my stomach churn - I'll assume it's because of hunger. By the way, the Yankees suck.

Speaking of those doddering decrepit deficients from the Bronx, here's a short film dug up by the Dirt Dogs depicting Roger Clemens in the year 2057. Now that's delicious...

A-Rod's an A-Hole

Thank goodness he's not on my team. While my beloved Red Sox enjoy the largest lead they've had over the Evil Empire since 1978, all the talk in the New York tabloids is Alex Rodriguez, and none of it is about winning. While his personal life should remain just that - his excapades with the buxom blonde slumpbuster should stay between him, Mrs. A-Rod and their two-year old child - now we get another example of his bush-league mentality. Last night in Toronto, in the ninth inning, two outs, with his team up two runs, he's rounding third as the thirdbaseman Howie Clark circles under a fly ball on the infield. As Slappy McCantcatch passes behind Clark, he yells out "Mine," causing Clark to back away to avoid a collision with his shortstop he believes is calling for the ball. It drops, and eventually three runs score. Toronto manager John Gibbons pleads interference to the umpires as A-Hole stands on third with his best George Bush smirk. After the game Rodriguez says he yelled "Hah" - I'm not the best lip-reader, but it sure looks like an m to me.

This represents a pattern of behaviour, from his elbow to the groin of Dustin Pedroia last week all the way back to slapping the ball out of Bronson Arroyo's glove in 2004. I know he's not thinking when he does these things, he's going on instinct - I also know a good person's instinct is not to cheat. Now, I can't find my copy of the unwritten rule book, but I'm pretty sure this kind of crap is in there. Red Sox GM Theo Epstein, while avoiding direct comment, did say there are "certain things that you just don’t do to the opposition on the baseball field.” If it is indeed no big deal, that it happens "three or four times a week" as Rodgriguez claims, why are none of his Yanker teammates speaking up for him? Why wouldn't one of them say "Hey, this kind of stuff happens all the time, leave him alone?" Derek Jeter, one of the classiest men in baseball, said "Why don't you ask him about it?" Not exactly a ringing endorsement for his former sleepover buddy, the man who will someday break Hank Aaron's record, maybe even before Barry Bonds does.

Yep the Yankees are all the talk in the baseball world this summer. And not a bit of it is about winning. Good times.

NY Yankees 6, Boston Red Sox 7

Eat it, Bob Ryan. So the rivalry doesn't mean what it did when you had a shade of color to your hair? I'm so tired of old people saying the game isn't as good as the old days - ever since they raised ticket prices to a quarter. Right here, right now. There is no other place I'd want to be.